The hardest thing about blogging is getting started. The second hardest thing is refraining from deleting the entire post and getting away from the computer to do something that’s actually useful. We’ll see how this one goes and if it makes it to my blog.
Yesterday, as we all know, was Thanksgiving. I could immediately tell that this was the day after Thanksgiving when I put my shirt on and what was a perfect fitting shirt is now tight around the stomach area. But it’s okay. The family got together and what a feast we had. My wife made a delicious turkey with all the trimmings. Her siblings brought bisque, rolls, pies, sauces, drinks, and enough food to cure hunger in Africa.
I hardly ever drink any more, but on holidays, I revert back to my younger days when my favorite hobby was imbibing the alcohol. Beer, whiskey, gin, tequila … it was delicious, and it made me feel good. I could almost always count on alcohol to make me feel good. But now that I’m old, I do things like build furniture and try to invent things that will make me a millionaire. You don’t want to get drunk when using power tools. It can make you have a horrible accident and cut off all your fingers. It’s hard to hold a drink in your hand when you have no fingers. You’d have to hold it like our dog holds her biscuits while nibbling at them. But I digress.
So on holidays, I make an exception and have a few drinks. Margaritas are my drink of choice these days. With margaritas, you can be buzzed in less than 15 minutes and after you stop drinking, you’re sober again in about an hour. It’s the perfect drink! And no hangover the next day! It also makes it easier to deal with the in-laws.
Men have it easier than women when it comes to family get-togethers. We stuff our faces and then go into the living room to watch football. When football’s not on, we play video games or with electronics. We don’t have to waste a bunch of energy talking and run the risk of someone getting their feelings hurt. We can call each other a jack-ass, a bastard, a fuck-wad, and nobody cares! It’s part of the fun.
Women, on the other hand, talk about serious stuff when they get together. My wife told me some of the stuff they talked about, but I wasn’t really paying attention so I don’t remember what they were, but I remember they were serious things, and somebody got their feelings hurt. That’s what happens when people talk. You’d think they’d have learned after all these years not to talk, but every year, it’s the same thing.
Today is black Friday — the day people get up at like 3:00 in the morning to get down to the local Walmart so they can buy some piece of crap electrical device for only a dollar. That’s about what the kid in China got paid for a full day’s work to build the piece of crap so we could buy it really cheap. And that’s what holiday’s are really all about: buying crap really cheap.